I admit it. I used to think one night would change my whole life. I would wake up on New Year’s Day and be a new edition of human being, magically equipped with more discipline, motivation and all the superpowers I needed to be a better person than all the years before. The truth is I woke up this morning thinking of the Tequila shot and the 4 desserts I didn’t exactly plan to have last night. Resolutions? If anything I rang in the new year with a weaker resolve to avoid alcohol and sweets than I had for all of 2018. But honestly, I’m ok with it. Because my new year started long before today. A few months ago I said if I intend to get anything right in 2019 I need to start in 2018. I started putting in the work; letting go of excuses, taking risks and diving HEART first into everything that really mattered to me. So for 2019 I haven’t made a single resolution. I simply plan to keep doing the things that made me feel brand new last year. Below are some key breakthroughs I think were worth celebrating with a Tequila shot and 4 desserts last night.
USING MY VOICE MY WAY
I let go of what people expected me to do with my voice for years and just did what I wanted to. I rapped, wrote verses in Spanish and collaborated on some major reggae productions. I can’t wait to share those projects with you. I also spoke out frankly on how I think women deserve to be portrayed in Hip Hop in my "Queen" remix. Branching out creatively has helped me hone in on my purpose and this is only the beginning.
CHALLENGING BEAUTY STANDARDS
I took my locs to the stage. It was scary letting go of the big hair and even more risqué choosing a hairstyle that hasn’t exactly been accepted historically. I had to learn to love my face again with a new mane. I had to trust in my unique idea of beauty and not care about public opinion. How liberating and beautiful and humbling it has been to just do me.
DUMPING PERFECTION
So many things did not go according to plan in the making of the music video for Perfect. I had to RE-live the lyrics of my song, let go of how life 'should look' and simply embrace life period. Perfect was a game changer because it was NOT perfect. The fact is I love it even more because of everything it taught me.
For years I told myself I had to do a, b and c or know l,m,n,o,p before I could even think about having x, y, or z. In 2018 I pinned my wild obsession with alphabetical order 😜 as just another fear of not being enough and I countered it with the words “I AM READY”. It is so simple but this has been my biggest breakthrough going into 2019. One of my favorite quotes is by Misty Copeland, the first African American Female Principal Dancer in the American Ballet Theatre. She called BS on ‘being ready’ when she said:
"YOU CAN START LATE, LOOK DIFFERENT, BE UNCERTAIN, AND STILL SUCCEED."
On that note, I wish you a Happy New Year. Here’s to less resolutions and more breakthroughs in 2019!